June 2012
1 post
the journey continues.
working and working and working only this time, it’s for the right reasons. i am more focused than ever. and sometimes focus fuzzes a bit when love is involved. therefore, as already declared, love can not impede my love for my career right now. sometimes it hurts. sometimes i get nostalgic. that’s why i think whatever happened b/w us happened for a reason. you taught me that it...
May 2012
27 posts
SUMMER GOALS
-start a real blog
-learn how to use final cut pro
-learn how to make beats
-learn an instrument
-work on a solo ep
-promote
-network
-get in even better shape, eat healthier and what not.
-save up money for a possible trip to europe in the fall
-keep writing
-read read read
-do it.
well. home.
only took me a day to get sad about being at home. sad about the fact my parents work so hard. sad that my mom doesn’t have the material things she so desperately desires. sad that she looks at me with disappointment. sad that i can’t prove to my parents that i’m going to be ok because it isn’t guaranteed. sad that i’m lonely. sad that my friends at home don’t...
“I’m about to move back to the city. And I’m about to be the man...”
– kraun
misses i miss mysteriously
I’m alarmed by the condoms expiring,
calm isn’t the norm when its been a while since being involved was in style.
mama’s harmful inquiries, inquiring,
why her son is awful in science,
but cautiously confiding in accomplices instead of random all-nighters,
violently, hiding behind one night stands,
trying to gather all of the information one might cram,
tenaciously...
totalitarianism.
There I was, standing in front of a broken mirror. Hopeless fear, her, me, the thoughts aggravated. By, lost salutation, across saturation, the tears flooded. The years hugged him, explained there are ups and there are gravel pits. And life is not a first draft, you cannot sample it. If you’ve mishandled this, then write life a secret fable. This is a war, you are fighting the price for a...
“home fixes everything.”
– ep
Gonna write for a minute. Finishing my senior...
Thank you to my big sister, who adequately supported me.
Thank you to my ex-lover, who passionately ignores me cordially.
Thank you to my professor, I still want to strangle you.
But I realized that I can no longer enable myself to put the blame on you.
Thank you to my friends, my addiction has died.
I used to wish I’d quit now quitting is on the hori-zon.
But there is a difference in...
I know the answer.
1- Remember why I decided to make this transformation in the first place.
2- Go back to the strict isolation I was experiencing during the prime of this transformation.
3- Deactivate FB. (It’s a display of relative deprivation. You do not want to be influenced by what everyone else is doing. You want to focus on what you’re doing. That is all).
4- Stop all vices. Alcohol is not your...
ok young michael.
I feel like this is a dream I can’t wake up from.
This doesn’t feel like real life.
This is what stress/ sleep-deprivation/ and ambitions does to a person. It puts them in a trance. But remain calm / get sleep / set lower expectations, and life will be good.
Graduating.
The fact that my life is about to drastically change next week is finally hitting me. Everything is going to change. I can barely eat sometimes because I have that feeling in my stomach that I am not ready for what’s to come. But then what is hysterical is the second I start writing about it, I feel completely different. I anticipated rambling on and on and venting about how I’m losing...
bounce.
You were altruistically empowered, by the community’s rudimentary programmers. Smiles inflicted, one database inspired by the admirers you dismissed quick-ly, drove off from truancy, the tires flying off the hinges. Which artist sparked your feelings? Which reflection composited the darkest ceilings? The night spoke of anxiety, choking up by the erroneous notoriety. My life is compacted,...
“Sometimes I want to disappear.”
– source
Now.
I will never be truly happy until I accomplish greatness. I want more. I need more. And I will NEVER stop until I get there. This life doesn’t cut it for me. And it shouldn’t cut it for you either. I am going to do something great with my life and unlike most people, I cannot sit behind a TV or Computer Screen and waste this life. We’re all behind computer screens, but how many...
FUCK YEAH DUDE.
It’s ONLY 4 PM! WOO HOO. FUCK YEAH DUDE. this is going to be easy.
today.
Today is a type of day I do not want to speak to anyone. I want to keep to myself. I want my rage to invigorate me and strengthen me along this stressful process. I have to work to complete. I have plans to create. I have no one worth speaking to anyway. Today is a day that if put in the wrong situation, I may lose it. Therefore, I am locking myself in my apartment, laptop open, orange juice on...
it begins.
It’s the first thing we do when we wake up.
Find exactly where technology has placed us.
From the blogs and transformations.
To the glamourous emancipation, the hammered nation exaggerated.
Last night, well, I stayed in.
Watched a documentary on the possibilities of fame with,
Others not willing to get sloppy, since,
I changed my life around, a lot of people don’t wanna bring...
nobody famous.
perhaps the caliber of the words, are amateur for sure.
no matter how many rappers you purge,
disaster is blurred, either that or I’m immature.
I speak with a purpose, I teach rather.
These bleak creeks reach faster, than any street master.
Fighter, got knuckles to evaluate.
if you hustle you will navigate. through the trenches,
music is love as much as it is rough sex, rummaging...
As this paper dwindles down.
I’m probably going to be up until 3 AM finishing this paper, but that’s OK. A night like this requires it. I just wanted to take at least ten minutes to get my thoughts out, covertly, discreetly, with implicit emphasis.
Fuck it. Chose not to. I got all carried away by depressing thoughts of the future and graduation and nothing seeing any of these motherfuckers anymore and then i...
here me.
Today, er, yesterday, marked my 3rd month off cigarettes. 12 weeks. 12 weeks of a new me. I actually changed. It was NOT easy at all, in fact, it might have been the hardest thing I ever had to do, and unfortunately, this struggle will most likely continue until the day I die. Being an addict is a lifestyle, transforming into an ex-addict is one as well. Some argue that the consequences of being a...
April 2012
29 posts
Samuel L Jackson is a bad motherfucker.
Read the article about him in this Sunday’s NYT magazine. Holy shit. Btw, apparently he had some racy comments about Obama. I can’t lie, the ignorant side of me found it hysterical. Even the conscious side of me did as well. I don’t know. I just see Jackson and all I can think about is: “There are motherfucking snakes on this motherfucking plane!”
In the article I...
“I WANT TO MAKE IT SO FUCKING BAD.”
– ALL I THINK ABOUT.
focus.
sometimes I can only deal with a particular issue.
something specific, in intervals. nothing similar to admitting I miss you.
here lies michael, here michael lies.
life is spiteful, it likes to remind you that it is impossible to recycle time.
my father works hard to guarantee my sanity.
a loose cannon, he banned me from standing on granny’s balcony.
they can’t perceive...
Anonymous asked: It's amazing to see how much you've developed as a writer/lyricist/rapper. You should be so proud of everything you've accomplished. And fuck the moments of disappointment, even if now at times you feel your efforts are unacknowledged or unappreciated, everything will come in due time. Keep following the lights, it'll guide you to your chandelier.
“When I turn back to look at the past, I think how much time has been wasted, how...”
– Dostoevsky
I don't know.
Sometimes I feel as if I’m just floating through the day. Just going along with the requirements brought upon me. The limitations, the restrictions, the opportunities, they are all the same. I feel like a fucking robot, depending on my productivity to bring me happiness. A fucking robot. Sometimes I just want to recklessly force the world to pay attention to this goddam dilemma. It seems...
why won't this shit just WORKKKKKKK! arhgjashdih
learning more and more everyday.
ah.
I HATE when i record something and the whole time I think it’s sounding amazing and once it’s finished, it’s NOTHING like i intended it to be. but, i guess every artist deals with that through their mediums. it’s all about rebounding. keep pushing until it sounds the way YOU want it to.
working on something magnificent.
